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See through my mind
Tuesday, April 20, 2004

Yippee........ A break from the ever greenish environment in camp. All thanks to my mom for laboring me on this particular day 22 years ago that earned this day off. Today's just another date on the calendar for me because i dont really celebrate birthday. Its really too much of a hassle for me to organise anything due to my lazy nature. *grinz*

The only celebration i had in my entire life was when i am just pre-school. Could not even remember who held it for me. He he. Lotsa of wishes from my friends since morning and im really touched and grateful to them. I felt guilty towards them as i dont think i could remember their dates when they were in their birthday suit. He he.

However one doubt still lingers in my mind upon April 20. Does it belongs to Aries or Taurus of the zodiac.
I had seen some stating its Aries and some stating the latter. ??????. So maybe im half of each thus explaining my eccentric character. Im A FREAK......... Wahahaha.

Anyway i would still proceed with the customary wish making ritual. I made two this year. Im greedy yeah. Hope it would come true ya.

Before i logged, i hope everyone whose birth date on this day a HAPPY BIRTHDAY and wishes come true for all you good looking and funky dude and lass out there.

Till Mayday then bloggy. Logged..........

posted at 20.4.04 _________________________________________________________________ Sunday, April 18, 2004

Ten straight hours of intense adventure from reading "Not Without My Daughter". A feat to me considering that i could not stay still for even ten minutes in a couch or rather a fixed location. No book on hand to burn away my time, gonna make a trip back to San Bookshop to get a new book.

Been reading alot recently, all thanks to Zhe Xian for reigniting my old interest by recommending me "Memoirs Of A Geisha". Felt liked a bookworm now, going everywhere with a book in hand.

Would meet Kiat and Qiang for yet another bout of C&C. With the inclusion of Kiat, i figured the winning chances would be higher against those puny AI. Muahahahaha.......

Gotta run...... Late for appointment........
Ciaoz........

posted at 18.4.04 _________________________________________________________________ Thursday, April 15, 2004

A break suddenly declared by OC. But nothing in these world for free though. Gotta gate crash several country clubs today to get information on whether the venue suitable for holding the Infantry Dinner. Would wait for Ismail to call before meeting the team members.

Yesterday while doing area cleaning, Leon cleared the myth about what the latest TV series 'OC' meant. Somebody blurted out Orientation Camp before but what its actually meant was 'Orange County'.

Two more chapter to go before completing the book "Rich Dad Poor Dad". Very interesting book and what i really liked best about the book that it stimulates my mind to think. And lotsa of inspiring quotes to learn from. Would blog them down once the book done with.

Gotta indulge in a nice hot shower ya......
Ciaoz........

posted at 15.4.04 _________________________________________________________________ Sunday, April 11, 2004

Hmm......... Just watched Hellboy with Qiang. One of the quote in the movie worth noting.

"You like someone for his values but you love them for their defects"

Word of wisdom ya..........
Going back camp for commanders training.
Ciaoz.........

posted at 11.4.04 _________________________________________________________________ Saturday, April 10, 2004

Shagadelic........ Mom woke or rather shook me up at 7am this morning for preparation of "Qing Ming". Travelled all the way up north to the famous "Guang Ming Shi" to visit dear Ah Gong, Po Po. The human traffic wasnt too heavy and we managed to finish the usual ritual in an hour time. After which we went to visit Ah Gong, Ah Ma at the temple near home. Helped out with the burning of incense and offerings before heading back home.

Met up with Ash for the later part of the day before landing once again in the cozy little LAN shop with Qiang to pop some tanks and planes on the C&C. Lol....... This time we did managed to win after some practise, excellent teamwork and neat coordination by both of us. Engrossed in the heat of action and almost forgot the time. Managed to take bus home by the nick of time and TaaDaa....... Blogging right now.

Ah Gong
---------

Beneath the stern facade of Ah Gong is the gentle and loving character. Always doting and loving me ever since i was born. Used to tell me lotsa of his life experiences back in his teenage days. Missed those days when i was seated near his sofa and stroking his round belly. A man whom i will always loved and respect all my life. My beloved Ah Gong..........

Po Po
---------

A symbol of intelligence, beauty and kindness. Po Po used to bring me for her taji lesson and i would just be seated there and watched her exhibiting her gracious moves. I would always tag along in her shopping session to buy groceries for the daily needs and perstering her to buy my favourite snacks or toys. She will always get what i wanted irregardless of the price. Her culinary skills was superb and i always looked forward to taste what she had cooked for the family. In my eyes, Po Po is the greatest woman ever lived and i shall always missed her kind smile. Love her always.

This blog shall be dedicated to the two person i love most in my life.
I love you, Ah Gong, Po Po............

posted at 10.4.04 _________________________________________________________________ Friday, April 09, 2004

Yesterday was quite fun......... Went down to town to get a soft toy for Ash as a gift for her mentor. The piglet matched all the description which Ash gave me but somehow it did not turn out to be the toy which Ash wanted. Ash still gave it to her mentor anyway. Went to Di Mao for dinner. The mushroom chicken tasted delicious. Its taste and looked like Gong Bao Ji Ding but wasnt named anything like that on the menu. Sent Ash home and somehow this time i managed to remember the block number. '266' stood out from the rectangular olive green board and cast an impression on me. Freaky........

Played C&C with Qiang near the secluded Kembagnan(Typo???) Plaza. LAN gaming appeared to be Qiang latest craze which was liked being outdated since a few years back but nonetheless we still had a great time losing umpteen times to a AI hard difficulty player and 2 vs 1 at that. Pathetic, lol.........

Happy, Shalalala......... One whole stretch of programmes lined up all the way. Wont have a chance to feel bored. Whoopi........ Boredom sucks, sucks real bad.........

Logged..............

posted at 9.4.04 _________________________________________________________________ Wednesday, April 07, 2004

I read Ash blog once again....... After reading her first blog left me quite shattered and sad. She had pinned such high hopes in this relationship and i had somehow ruined it with my erratic unreasonable behaviour and insensitivity. Somehow i felt that this relationship is landsliding all due to my fault. Ash rather detached and cold nowadays. I guess its all due retribution for doing and saying all the wrong things that hurts her.

Its been a few days since im feeling quite depressed. The reason that i had only blog it now is that i could not supress my own feelings anymore. I needed someone or something to confide in. I wished i could occupied myself and not think of how badly i had treated her. I hope i could do something to salvage what i thought to be a relationship turned sour. The conversation i had with Ash when i was at the Gryphon BBQ really knocked some sense into my head. All along i was in the wrong but my self centered mindset always finding excuses and reasons or shifting the blame to all other things but myself.

I feared even to confide this to Ash as i hurted conflicts and misunderstanding. All i want is Ash to be forever happy, bubbly, lively as what she proclaimed in her blog when she first met me. But what i did was changing her into a stressful, depress, numb kinda state.

ARGGGHHHHH..............
Vex vex vex...........

Hope the time could helped me..............

posted at 7.4.04 _________________________________________________________________ Tuesday, April 06, 2004

Vex vex vex.............

Argghhhhh.............

Feeling god damn bored today. Traversing through the PC and PS2 doesnt help one bit. I had no idea whats bothering me. Perphaps its emptiness or a void in the mind. This kinda of feeling sucks.........

Sigh~~~
Perphaps screaming would help........

ARRRGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH......................

posted at 6.4.04 _________________________________________________________________
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